Hot Topic: Breastfeeding

We were bestowed with a wonderful New Year’s gift this year – our second baby boy. K Junior arrived amongst much celebration and of course in the coldest and snowiest winter we’ve had in the last few years.

I thought I had prepared myself for all of the challenges I was going to encounter raising a newborn along with our now 2.5 year toddler son. Surprise! I had forgotten how tiring tending to a newborn can be. On top of that, I still had to give time and a lot of TLC to my toddler.   My memory also seemed to have erased the mental and physical exhaustion that came with dealing with all things breastfeeding.

I had a hard time breastfeeding both my sons. The first time around, no one told me how difficult breastfeeding is. It is not the peaceful picture of a mother holding a child at her breast in a cradle hold position. You don’t see the scrunched up face of a mother when the baby is painfully biting at the nipple. No Sir! You don’t see the ever wriggling baby trying to latch on for dear life. My eldest son would turn into a screaming banshee the second he was hungry and never learned to latch on. In the end I started pumping so that he would get the benefits of the “liquid gold”.  The second time around, I was determined to nurse my newborn and we did well…for 2 days. As his appetite grew, he demanded to be nursed more and I was encouraged by my hospital to feed on demand. Well, that ended up in severely cracked and bleeding nipples. I was back to pumping.

Both my sons were “combination fed” for the first 3 months and then were completely on formula. This was a decision I made based on my children’s never ending appetite and other factors such as difficulty latching and low milk supply. Although I have received much grief and snide remarks from family for my decision, I don’t regret it. Do I wish I had breastfed them for the recommended 6 months or longer? Of course! Does it make me a bad mom if I didn’t? I certainly don’t think so and I wish mothers (READ – especially S. Asian women) would stop judging each other on the basis of whether anyone breastfed their child and/or for how long. To some mothers and tots, breastfeeding may come easily and kudos to them for sticking to it. But please let’s not bring down the other mothers who have a hard time with it. To each her own!

Afternoon musings

“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”
– Josh Billings

Someone asked me today, “How do you feel about raising your child in Canada?” It took me a few moments to get my thoughts together.

As a parent, I worry about the things my son will learn from his friends as he grows older. I worry that he will drift away from us when he hits the teen years. I worry about all the things that we may not have control over. At the same time, I know I will receive guidance to deal with all that from my mom.  I have a great advisor in my mom who raised 3 girls as an expat’s wife. We lived in a number of different countries but my mom made sure we were aware of our roots and culture.

Having gone through the dilemma of growing up “abroad” and still observing most of our culture and traditions at home, it may be easier for me to bridge that gap with my son. I may be able to better understand the conflicts in his mind of who he is and where he is from. I hope that I can handle the challenge of raising K as well as my mom did with us. Although, if I tell her all this, she will say ” I told you, it is not easy being parents. Now that you have become a parent, you know what we went through! ” 

“To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”
– Josh Billings

Someone asked me today, “How do you feel about raising your child in Canada?” It took me a few moments to get my thoughts together.

As a parent, I worry about the things my son will learn from his friends as he grows older. I worry that he will drift away from us when he hits the teen years. I worry about all the things that we may not have control over. At the same time, I know I will receive guidance to deal with all that from my mom.  I have a great advisor in my mom who raised 3 girls as an expat’s wife. We lived in a number of different countries but my mom made sure we were aware of our roots and culture.

Having gone through the dilemma of growing up “abroad” and still observing most of our culture and traditions at home, it may be easier for me to bridge that gap with my son. I may be able to better understand the conflicts in his mind of who he is and where he is from. I hope that I can handle the challenge of raising K as well as my mom did with us. Although, if I tell her all this, she will say ” I told you, it is not easy being parents. Now that you have become a parent, you know what we went through! “

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Designldg by Laurent G

© All photographs are copyrighted and all rights reserved.
Please do not use any photographs without permission (even for private use).
The use of any work without consent of the artist is PROHIBITED and will lead automatically to consequences.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only…

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Escape

My son has now been going to daycare for a month and has been sick for 2 and 1/2 weeks out of the 4.

The reaction from his grandparents is the typical brown family-overly concerned-frantic questioning-over the phone, “Why is he sick all the time?”, “Have you taken him to the Doctor? What did he say? Why is he sick all the time?”, “Don’t you cover him properly when you take him out?”, “He is too young to go to daycare. Why don’t you stay at home and be with him?”.

No, I like to bathe my toddler and leave him outside, buck naked, in the freezing rain. Sheesh!!! I am his mother and I care about him. Of course, he is dressed appropriately for winter when he goes out.

The problem is that everyone except you, the mother, knows how to take care of your child. This is especially seen in South Asian families. It is futile to explain that the kid is going to daycare for the first time, he will fall sick initially, while his immune system is building and getting stronger.

What do I do then? I do what any stressed out  mother would do..”Hello? Hello? Can’t hear you…I’ll call you back later.” *Disconnect*