We were bestowed with a wonderful New Year’s gift this year – our second baby boy. K Junior arrived amongst much celebration and of course in the coldest and snowiest winter we’ve had in the last few years.
I thought I had prepared myself for all of the challenges I was going to encounter raising a newborn along with our now 2.5 year toddler son. Surprise! I had forgotten how tiring tending to a newborn can be. On top of that, I still had to give time and a lot of TLC to my toddler. My memory also seemed to have erased the mental and physical exhaustion that came with dealing with all things breastfeeding.
I had a hard time breastfeeding both my sons. The first time around, no one told me how difficult breastfeeding is. It is not the peaceful picture of a mother holding a child at her breast in a cradle hold position. You don’t see the scrunched up face of a mother when the baby is painfully biting at the nipple. No Sir! You don’t see the ever wriggling baby trying to latch on for dear life. My eldest son would turn into a screaming banshee the second he was hungry and never learned to latch on. In the end I started pumping so that he would get the benefits of the “liquid gold”. The second time around, I was determined to nurse my newborn and we did well…for 2 days. As his appetite grew, he demanded to be nursed more and I was encouraged by my hospital to feed on demand. Well, that ended up in severely cracked and bleeding nipples. I was back to pumping.
Both my sons were “combination fed” for the first 3 months and then were completely on formula. This was a decision I made based on my children’s never ending appetite and other factors such as difficulty latching and low milk supply. Although I have received much grief and snide remarks from family for my decision, I don’t regret it. Do I wish I had breastfed them for the recommended 6 months or longer? Of course! Does it make me a bad mom if I didn’t? I certainly don’t think so and I wish mothers (READ – especially S. Asian women) would stop judging each other on the basis of whether anyone breastfed their child and/or for how long. To some mothers and tots, breastfeeding may come easily and kudos to them for sticking to it. But please let’s not bring down the other mothers who have a hard time with it. To each her own!